Daddy Winebucks

I’m such an LA foodie hipster,  I had a reservation at Osteria Mozza this past Saturday night and cancelled on them.

Now, I’ve no doubt they were able to fill our coveted 5:30pm slot.  You know, the one normally reserved for those over 65 and usually found at a deli in Boca.  Still, it felt good.

I’m surely not the first person to write about this phenomenon, the two choice reservation.  Go ahead, try this.  Pick up the phone and call (insert hot restaurant here) to reserve a table.  In the case of either Mozza option, this of course must be done a month in advance, and only after 10am.  For those fond of radio station contests this will feel familiar.

Lets say you get through and even manage to make one of the people answering the phone (those with personality need not apply) check the book for your choice night in question.  And lets also say, for the sake of fantasy that you are able to make a reservation for said month hence (because really, who doesn’t like planning that far ahead?).  If the planets have aligned, I guarantee you will be given two options, 5:30pm or 9:30pm.

Cue: Muffled, snickering laughter from the corner of Highland & Melrose.

What Robot #1 doesn’t know is that my preferred reservation time is 5:30 (I have kids and often times want to go to a movie afterwards – a la Vicky Cristina Barcelona).  So what if my wife and I, along with a few friends, have to dine before the valets come on duty (there’s plenty of street parking on Melrose), or while our table is still being set around us? As long as the lights are on and the ovens are lit, we’re happy.

But this does prompt the question, who does get to eat at these places at 8pm?  Do us little people come in for the early bird mugging (see: your bill), only to be swept out back while the limos and Bentley’s pull up curbside, where (insert celebrity couple here) are whisked to their tables to eat at a normal hour.  And once they finish their meals and exit, I’m thinking three guys with metal detectors comb the room for loose diamonds and gold dubloons, while the staff gets ready for the starving class to crawl in at 9:30, who’s only sustenance prior to dining was four red vines.

Who’s with me on this conspiracy?

The real moral of this story though is that Saturday night, with no fanfare whatsoever, I logged onto Open Table at 4:30 *that* day  and secured a 7:00pm reservation at one of the best, most romantic places in town, Locanda Veneta.  I’d link them but they’re so hip, I don’t think they have a website anymore.  They don’t need one.

Those in the know (maybe I really am an LA Foodie hipster) already eat there regularly, and now you can too…

P.S.  In case the staff at Mozza is reading this (Cue: Snickering laughter from the entire world), the food at both places is truly special and I will continue dining there at 5:30 any chance I get.